Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If I could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.
It's hard to accept, but I can't change the past. I can't go back and manipulate things to the way I wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But I probably can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, I will make mistakes. And yes, I will have bad days - but as long as I let the past go, I'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of me. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day I will learn something so that I keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that I have the chance I use something amazing from. So I grab hold of it.
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