I Love

I have my own opinion on what is my Own Perfect World would be. I don’t put any ‘race’, ‘religion’, 'belief' or ‘class’ distinctions in friendship coz what I know is 'God is One'. We all have same similar dreams, aspirations, hopes and target in life. I love my Life!!

Everyday, in the office (this is among my colleagues), we talk, discuss and find out to solve the problem and find the solution, this is called teamwork, and it’s perfect. Having a good colleagues or friends, chit chat during breakfast or even tea break at the cafeteria or sometimes walk together buy lunch pack, this is also consider as teamwork! It’s also perfect! I love my Colleagues!

I have a limited time to hang-around with friends. This means, my right to do so is restricted by some elements and these elements bring me to think twice before making any decisions, I couldn’t scream to their face and start saying ‘I don’t want to do that, I’m disagree and blablabla’. The good explanation will be a good way in dealing conflict in some relationship. And so by right, people have to agree with it. I am not living by myself and so do you. But some people will never understand, why someone will say ‘no’!! I love my Friends!!

I respect those who practice their beliefs as long as they not physically injure other people against their will. But for those who persist in being and teaching evil, at the end of the day when thing went wrong, don’t blame anyone if they permanently ‘removed’ you from their life. They have the right to do so to protect their life being harm. I love the Believer!!

I willing to step forward and lend a hand to some people who are in need. Coz this bring me to think, 'why not', we live in community of peace and harmony. Anyhow, I always put on some border in helping someone. I won’t help people who are lazy. There will be no tolerance for social laziness. Coz wake-up people!! We must all work to eat, to have a good life. Not just sitting there without doing nothing and waiting for someone give you a free gift! Yet, there are no words as a ‘free gift’. Come to this 'gift' thing, what would you feel if the gift that you gave to your bf, after broke-up, he give it to his new gf? I think the guy who did this is 'a guy with no feeling' and taking you as an advantage. Why am I saying this? Coz he has no brain!! But does he care about your feeling? Ermm...I dun think so, what you have to do is just let him be him. (this happen to 1 of my fren)..if this thing happen to me?? You guess, what will I do? I will ask Why, coz I have my right to ask and from the answer I will know what come from him is BULLSHIT!! and lelaki seperti ini patut DILUPAKAN!! kalau boleh DILUPUSKAN dari ingatan. Coz YOU ARE STILL ALIVE BUT HE ALREADY MAKE YOU LIKE A DEAD PERSON!!! Fight to forget someone who hurt your feeling is better than good. I love the Fighter!!

To love and being love. When I fall in love with someone, there is no doubt for me to love him forever. Love is something sweet that will bring you happiness in your heart. Love is not hate or you always think about how bad he treats you! Why must you love someone if there is only grief and misery? Everyday you have to suffer because of him. If he had somebody else who have replaced your place, this is the right moment for you to stop thinking about him, stop dreaming about him, what will you get if you still doing all that? After all he just keeps acting like you are nothing. And stop calling him! That is the right thing to do. Think only when the time he treat you bad and don't forget to mention that he gave your 'gift' to his new gf. I love the Lover!!

Orange Cake

Today I bake an Orange Cake, erm, its like an addiction of baking to me. My project during weekend or on my holiday. It taste yummy. Here we goes;

The ingredients

Butter and sugar into mixer

Ready to bake

Finish baking

Ready to eat

Imperfect Love

Black water in a crystal glass

What is unperfect love? It doesn’t show the real thing that should happen in one real relationship. One should have know that unperfect love will never bring the relationship goes further or I can put it as no future. Couple blames each other when come into disagreement and relationship went down into big crisis. What must you expect more in it? You imagine, you walk to the altar before he saying the words ‘will you marry me’? Well this will never come into your life and don’t expect too much. This kind of relationship, will never show in the public, once who has admit that they struggle to be the perfect couple will try to share their relationship to people around them. But when this doesn’t worked the way they want, they just giving up and let the time decide what best for them.

Does he really need me? This comes in certain stage of relationship when women really want a commitment. Commitment in love will never exist in unperfect love story. Commitment is something you will do it sincerely and faithfully. People who are struggle with relationships don’t understand the power behind renewed commitments. Maybe they think commitments are somehow external to the mind. You can hear the misunderstanding in their words and thought that commitment is just a feeling. But it is not a feeling, it’s a decision. We can decide to make whatever commitment that we want, to whomever we want and whenever we want coz the world is divided into those who know and those who don’t know. So in unperfect love there is no commitment.

Kuih Makmur

Hari tok boring2 kat umah, tepikir mok molah kuih. So keluar kejap beli bahan molah kuih, if lambat kede tutup, besalah dak cina tok mok nyambut chinese new year, gagola tek prepare pake family gathering. ops!lupak, nyempat juak yinggah kat tempat facial tek, aduhh...harga pun nait!!..tpaksa nunggu next saturday. ermm...bahan2 pake molah kuih tok tek, xla mahal gilak, xkesahla mahal ka murah ka, pake barang makan, xbagus juak bekirakan?

Flour and peanut into mixer

Form dough into balls

Place balls on baking tray

Coat it with sifted icing sugar

Ready to eat

Bahan2 nok dibeli ya tek; Ghee, kacang, icing sugar (telur, tepung gandum dha da dirumah - memang dha preapare kat umah, besalah tukang baking)...hihihi...senang ada juak molah, if gik juak xreti ya, nang dungu la ya...(guro jak bha) =b

The Nerdy

Just being a Nerd

What does it mean by Nerd? Nerd refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities. They also can be considered as a loner by peers or they will tend to associate with like-minded people. The characteristic of a Nerd – with glasses, braces, acne and pants highly lifted up. Some part of the world, being a nerd may be state to be rejecting culture. They typically appear either to lack of confidence, be indifferent or oblivious to the negative perceptions held of them by others, because of this don’t be too surprise if they being the frequent objects of scorn, ridicule, bullying and social isolation. But don’t forget to mention, that most of Nerdy can earn a large salary, coz they can be measured as an intelligent, respectful and interesting. Today, as I see, some people who dress-up like a Nerd is just a style and they are not really a Nerd.

A Little Busy

This morning, as usual on Saturday, I went to pasar, bought some vege and fish. Managed to take some shot of 'pencari rezeki'.

Do they look busy selling their vege? Yes they are. And the vege that they sale is fresh. I think they just brought it from 'kebun'...hihihi...I love to see this scenery!! Even they don't have any 'lesen niaga' but atlis they do something untuk hidup.

When The Dawn Is There

As I drove back from work this afternoon, I managed to take some photos and it suddenly make me breathe in a beauty around me, the beauty and riches of being alive. It is His gift and my blessing to live, to experience, to feel and to fullfil.

And I remember the day I woke up and realized I no longer cared, no longer cared about him or who he was seeing or what he was doing, it just didn't matter anymore.

Live with it!!

And I dun have any idea to write something else. Ermm say wat...I think everyday I live with it, especially my Hp, he's the time saver =b

Adidas

Still new!! I rush into the sport center shop (Mall) with my kazen jus to grabe this pair of adidas! price?? no need to know la!!! worth it! hahaha..i havent wear it yet, sayanggg oooo!! maybe because of the weather too, rainy-rainy, anyway will wear it during summer n hothot day!! for casual wear, i'm not into high-heels, not that confortable and too much of ladies style, erkkk!

Lv (got some more...addicted lol!), this is just part of it. Bought from KL hihihi...gila suda bha saya!!! but everytime i look at em, they make me sooo happy cam i lupak everything that is a bit nonsense!!

Hahaha...this is my favrite stuff...The Hp Mini 1001TU...hihihi...u will never know what tis tiny winy thing can do for you. can bring it anywhere, anyplace n anytime. very the ringan also!! Wifi? Wireless? Yes!! My travelling pack!! The saverm!! =b

Acer Aspire 1200 - the first laptop i have. i love him very2 much, until today i still using it. He have MB125 (kinna small) but he's the one where i spend my time with =b

My Thought of Love

Before I gettin married, my mind come into this way-----

I have watched Wedding Planner (JLo) and Hazard of Heart (one of the best Barbara Cartland novel), and above all these I watched a lot of different couples exchange vows in a lot of different ways. I’ve analyzed how devoted they will be to one another by how their eyes dart or stay fixed during their vows, how they hold hands, the duration and intensity of their kiss, and whether or not they get tears in their eyes. Yes, I plan how my wedding will be: the colors, location, my wedding dress, bridesmaids, ceremony and perhaps most dreamily…my Groom. I talk about how happy I’ll one day be with him. And I talk bout how much he’ll love me. And how nervous I’ll be working down the isle to him. I wonder if I enjoy living these dream weddings every day more than I’ll enjoy the reality of my wedding day. I image myself in the PERFECT wedding with the PERFECT guy. Nothing can go wrong in my dreams. No hard times to deal with. Only PERFECT bliss. I often talk about love and being romantic. I wish how that’s the only thing that matters. I think ‘IN LOVE’ is just a made-up fantasy to give people dreams. ‘IN LOVE’ as I call it, is an infatuation.

1] LOVE, TRUE LOVE is putting up with a person day after day and learning not to be bothered by the little things that annoy you.

2] Love is STAYING with a person because you committed to doing so FOREVER.

3] Love is REALIZING that you care about the other person more than you care about yourself.

4] Lastly, LOVE is COMMITMENT.

I guess very few people today know how to love. Love is LOOKED at as a thing given to you, not as a thing given away. Love has to be GIVEN. I WON’T love a person because of what they do for me; I love a person for who they are. If I am to get married, I pray God has a special guy picked out for me. One who’s REAL and ADMITS when they’re just as lost about things as I am (he doesn’t have to admit this to everyone, he just has to be honest with me). I need a guy who’s WISE, TOUGH (both physically and mentally), and UNDERSTANDING. a HALF-WAY DECENT LOOKING guy would be nice too…;) but, that’s not overly IMPORTANT. I don’t wish for these things as most people do. I’m not looking for someone PERFECT, just PERFECT FOR ME. I expect a lot out of my future husband.

Many people say that all guys are JERKS and there’s NO GOOD ones to be found. But I don’t believe that. I think society pushes people too much that they have got to be married to be happy. Therefore, people rush into marriage expecting their lives to be under control and happy. And when it doesn’t turn out that way, they become utterly DEPRESSED and think that the idea of marriage can only be a FAILURE.

God does have plans for some people to stay SINGLE. SINGLE LIFE can be a lot more ADVENTUROUS, and more can be ACCOMPLISED with a life not held back by a family. I believe marriage can limit your potential, but it can also bring you an ENCOURAGER to ENCOURAGE you become GREATER.

As I said, if I’m to get married, I expect only the HIGHEST quality guy. Maybe I’m vain to expect this, but I expect from my guy only what I’ve always expect from myself. I understand MARRIAGE and LOVE and what it’ll take. It’ll be HARD, but I’m TOUGH and can handle it. I want to HELP, SUPPORT, ENCOURAGE, RESPECT and CHERISH him for as long as we both shall live (this is the biggest sacrifice that I have to do).

But this was 4 years back when I was alone and unfortunately, I never-ever regret every single man who has giving me the opportunity to be in loved (this I refer to all my Ex). And now, I CHERISH every single drop of my life as a WIFE and MOTHER. Thanks to God cause He giving me such a WONDERFUL family, a husband and child. I'm learning not to be hypocrite and because of this I admit that sometimes, my marriage life is not that good but I always keep in my mind 'not every single one who live in this world is perfect, and as a human we makes mistakes, with or without we realize about it'. And I have to learn to use this words 'Give and Take'. Just like I said earlier some stage of marriage life will be hard and difficult, but I am tough enough and I can handle it. Till today I still build up the courage in me and try to be more faithful.

These pictures was taken during my wedding day

Matahariku

I have heard this song so many times, nice song and lot of meaning behind the words. Guess it’s about a lady who fall in love with this guy, maybe the guy start it first to make this lady fall in love with him. First this lady doesn’t really have any feeling towards this guy, coz she already got someone else. But this guy keep on pushing her even he himself know that she got someone to love. Because of maybe of sympathy, she suddenly met this guy and they date quite sometimes. But at the end of the day, someone know about their relationship, so they start to end all the feelings, but in secret this lady still have feeling towards this guy, a very deep feeling (I guess so =)). The lady become so frustrated, anger and sad. All the feeling mixed together, without any doubt this lady saying ‘goodbye’ (I guess goodbye doesn’t mean forever..huh). This guy who start the relationship just left the lady without any sorry or bad feeling. So this guy got new women in his life without knowing how hurt she was when she heard about it. The words that hurt this lady so much is when he said ‘wake-up k’ (hihihi…guess so)..hrmmm for me…why at the end of the day, you are the one who start something then you ask someone else to ‘wake-up’ ? hmmm…well, back to the story, then for quite sometimes this lady start to realize, that this guy only take advantage on her so from that moment the ‘door of her heart is closed' and she just let the guy do what he think better for him..

So that is the synopsis I make on the song, here is the song:

tertutup sudah pintu, pintu hatiku

yang pernah dibuka waktu, hanya untukmu

kini kau pergi dari hidupku

ku harus relakanmu walau aku tak mau

berjuta warna pelangi di dalam hati

sejenak luluh bergeming menjauh pergi

tak ada lagi cahaya suci

semua nada beranjak, aku terdiam sepi

dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku

ku bersedih karna panah cinta menusuk jantungku

ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku

tentangku yang tak mampu melakukan waktu

dengarkanlah kau matahariku
dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku

ku bersedih karna panah cinta menusuk jantungku

A Simple Beauty

A day to day basis - this translates to a need for freedom of seeking, intolerance for constraints and habit (tabiat). Being a woman is a Mutable Fire Sign, this mean women are not only creative and innovative (you have to agree with this) but they are also highly flexible and adaptable to change, in fact, we as a women love changes in any way that will take us to see the beauty of ourself and see it as an exciting challenge. I got few troubles that I have made in my life lately, but to be regret of it, it is not really in my mind. What I really thought of myself is ‘it challenges me a lot’ and I know where is the stage that I have to stop and where is my weaknesses. But so far, I’ve discovered it as an inner beauty of a life and I am ready for the next adventure, and as for now on I always bring my travel light along with me.

But when it comes to the beauty routine, I don’t really need a complete cosmetic, where I think the normal style is where you fit it in your backpack, handbeg or coat pocket. All I need is a light face cream and lip balm to protect me from any elements and perhaps a personalized some cute perfume to keep me fresh during the day.

Above all this, beauty actually comes from spontaneous, open mind, the endless ideas and the intelligent sense of humor. What most beautiful when being a women is when you grab life with both of your hands. Our spirit flush with a vibrant life force that shines through and invigorates those around us. Being more patient in living is the best way to avoid winkles too!

Saat Yang Telah Berlalu

Satu malam yang sungguh indah
Bintang-bintang yang terbentang rendah
Bisikan ombak yang penuh gemersik
Disulami keindahan alam yang tiada terusik

Disini tetap aku berdiri
Menikmatinya dengan teliti
Tiada lagi tangis keresahan
Kerna tiada lagi kesedihan

Dugaan datang melempari kepedihan
Hati yang telah terusik dengan keadaan
Perasaan yang dibelenggu rasa bersalah
Akhirnya membawa sesal yang tak sudah

Disaat kesedaran menyentak hati
Terhantuk seketika dengan keadaan diri
Mimpi yang indah hanya seketika
Segala-galanya telah berakhir disana

Kini segalanya telah berlalu pergi
Segalanya tak akan pernah kembali
Kini telah Ku lemparkan semuanya
Di ruang hati yang tak akan ditemuinya

- YuNNa -

My Sambal Udang Kering

My new recipe for today, very simple! I use cara kampung, semua main tumbuk, no blander please. This make me remember when I was still a little girl, where I lived with my grandparents at kampung. All main lesung batu. But when we use traditional style to cook, nyaman ooooo!! The ingredients; udang kering, tomato, carrot, ginger and garlic.

Ready to eat

Dalam kuali

Bahan-bahannya

Cili hidup

Carrot

The 50.09% of My Life

This is few years back, how I live my life and how I arranged myself.

I remember while I’m waiting for my SPM result, my first job is as a salesgirl. Then I continued my study at 1 of the school in Miri (no need to mention where, u know after completed form 5, where you will dumb urself). 2 years later, I worked again while waiting for my result for the 3rd time, as a draftsperson with CH William, sketch some house plan (against my qualification lol). Resign. Worked at cyber café, hmmm…free chatting bha!!. While having this free chatting, I’m applying to further my study, received an offer letter, requesting me to mendaftar, so I went to mendaftar as a new student. I met new people, new friends and new faces.

First day on campus, I already met a good friend, her name is Alice (a soft-spoken person), ibanese from Saratok and not to mention also, she will become 1 of my coursemate. 1st year study, I got lot of close friends. I’m joining theatre night and we won 1st place (can’t remember the name of the drama), this is the best moment I ever had in my life. Completed my study after 3 years struggle with assignments, classes, campus activities and most of all final year project paper. As a student, its doing great!

Went back to Miri, resting for 2 weeks. At this time, I’ve not graduate yet, (ermm…graduate mean after you receive your result from the university and receive ‘BORANG KONVOKESYEN’, then you will become ‘Graduan’). Unfortunately, I am not the person who just want to sit down without doing nothing, so I start hunting for a job, attend an interview, finally I worked with Shipping company for 3 years as a ISM Assistant. ISM stand for International Safety Management. Later, get tired of dealing with crew, boat and safety. Then I got an offered from one of the Private Education Sector (the place that I’m working now), I work as a Planning Assist., hmm…if I'm moving to Kuching maybe I will be working with Swimburn, who knows what happen next right?=)

I got some few pictures that left me so much wonderful memory to be remembered in life.

Gals on the block

First day in class

Best roomates

The students

Final Year with the Sabahan

Dimana ada aku disitu ada dia

Dimana ada dia disitu ada aku

Damai Beach

Jungle Tracking

Melissa's Birthday

On the Top of Santubong

Damai Beach

Theatre Night with Melissa

After class with Linda

Final Year Students

Santai Damai

We are the Champion for Theatre Night

First Year Students

On show

First day class

Anak-anak masa depan yang cemerlang

With Martina

And now I realise I’m the type of person who know how to workworkwork. Well, as far as I concern about myself, I m not into night-life, clubbing, smoking, alcoholic. I dunno, I guess this is the way I am, I am not anti-social but I just not into it. But, I still respect those who are actived in night-life, they have ‘telinga tebal’, what does it mean by ‘telinga tebal’? Dapat menerima music yang bergema as loud as you can hear from outside the club…hahaha..good for you huh!!...after all, everybody got their own life to live and the happiness is in our hand itself.